There’s this guy I haven’t seen in years. I’ve been trying to call him to go over everything. They say that time’s supposed to heal, but I ain’t done much healing. I’m in California, dreaming about who we used to be when we were younger and free. I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet. I know there’s such a difference and a million miles between us. I must’ve called a thousand times to tell him I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done. But when I call he never seems to be home. I’ve tried to tell him I’m sorry for breaking his heart. I don’t even know if he made it out the town where nothing happened. But I guess it don’t matter, because it clearly doesn’t seem to tear him apart anymore. I keep calling, like, a thousand thousand times. But he never seems to home. I guess it doesn’t help that when he picks up all I do is I talk about myself all the time.
I’m going to be straight with you here. You broke the guy’s heart. Now, after YEARS you’re suddenly all sad about about it and want to work through your feels? what did you expect was going to happen? he’s moved on, it sounds like he’s probably MOVED AWAY and started a whole new life – and you’re wondering why he’s not taking your calls? You know, when someone refuses to take my calls after years of something being over (and me having broken their heart and all), the message i usually pick up after, say, the 10th phonecall is a whole lot no, nope, and not interested. And let me understand this correctly: YOU’VE CALLED HIM A THOUSAND TIMES? Where’s your self-respect woman? Frankly, if i were him i’m be registering a new number.
it’s going to be a cuggy blanket call to make you and your ego feel better
which brings me to: how do you have his number after all these years? how do you have his HOME number if you don’t know if he’s moved? i don’t want to be the one to have to tell you, A, that you’re sounding like a prima weirdo about this break up. i might even go so far as to say you’re acting extremely stalky, self absorbed and displaying zero boundaries, like a good little creepo narcissist. if you looked like steve buscemi in con air you’d be arrested.
you even admit that all you’re going to talk about is yourself when he answers, which just confirms for me that this has nothing to do with ‘going over everything’ – it’s going to be a cuggy blanket call to make you and your ego feel better. you know that scene in SATC where carrie is meeting with Mr Big’s ex wife to apologise for the affair and the ex wife sees straight through the little self-soothing act carrie’s putting on to essentially make herself feel better and assuage her own guilt? that’s you right now, A. you’re being the carrie. and that’s not cool.
you had the same problem with the other guy
Honestly, this is not something you should be pursuing, unless you’re pursuing it in group therapy and a therapist’s office. if i remember, you had the same problem with the other guy, rocking up out of no where and asking him if still felt the same way, even though he’d met someone new and settled down. have you watched young adult with charlize theron? i think you might want to put the phone down and just take a moment to move yourself out of the No Perspective Zone. get a sponsor and if you feel the need to relentlessly chase an ex after years and scratch around in their life again, call the sponsor instead. i urge you do this before they start calling on legal advice.
i might be going out on a limb here, A, but i believe that you’re The Crazy Ex. And it’s time to stop living in the past and dreaming about what did or might’ve happened and Move On.
love and tugs,