If you ever thought your threesome fantasies were rough, Dorothy Black shows you where the REAL kink lies.
I have never had anyone ask me to pee on them. Or choke them. Or wrap myself up in bandages Kegadol style. I find this mildly disturbing. What kind of self-respecting sex writer has never been confronted by wild paraphilia over the course of their sexually active life?
Never matter. What I lack in real-life experience or desire, I’ve made up in quiet fortitude with hours of web surfing to find out just how left of centre the human mind can go for kicks.
So when the topic of omorashi came up the other day (being turned on by you or your partner having a full bladder) I thought it was time to look at paraphilias, those fixations to objects or stimuli without which we simply cannot get off.
You know those voodoo objects that are supposed to be possessed of magical powers? Well a sexual fetish is any non-sexual or nonliving objects that has the magical power to make you cum, when nothing else can.
Think of the most arb object and you can bet your bottom dollar someone creams their pants for it. I had a friend once who could only get off by the idea of a hairbrush.
The most common fetish would be latex and rubber, diapers (not to be confused with infantilism, where adults get sexual pleasure from acting like babies), feet, dental braces or robots (cartoon and gaming characters included) … the list is endless really.
When I was 19 I remember walking into my first adult store and to the dark little corner right at the back where the fetish and paraphilia videos were hidden. The usual suspects lined up: bondage, feet, domination.
But as my eye scanned lower, the theme changed slightly from the amusing covers of school girls peeing (urolagnia) to something quite other.
In one instant I’d taken in two images that never featured in my concept of sex before – vomit and shit. Emetophilia and coprophilia (skat) respectively. Ever heard of 2 Girls 1 Cup? It’s a 2007 porn where two lovely ladies poop into a cup, appear to eat it and then vomit into each other’s mouths afterwards. Think Fear Factor but with wanking. The Marquis de Sade would be enormously thrilled.
i was thinking of adding a picture. but what is seen cannot be unseen. and i care too deeply for your well-being. besides, it’s called google search. enjoy.
Wet and messy fetishism
WAM involves being aroused when any fluid that isn’t a body fluid is splashed and rubbed in generous quantities on to naked skin Your kitchen, for example, could become your sexy-time place – cream, juice, tomato sauce, ice cream, peanut butter … but it also extends to dirt, grime, slime and mud. Love dirt, right Omo?
Did you ever see that LOL scene in the 1986 ‘erotic drama’ 9½ Weeks where Bassinger writhes and squirms on the floor in front of the fridge while Rourke enacts a frightful scene of misdirected sensuality and barely veiled ejactulation metaphors while throwing milk and pickle juice over her? WAM. (bam, no thank you ma’am.)
start watching from about 2 minutes. gross. gross. gross. but them, i’m not the mixing food and sex type.
Sex between humans and non-human animals really. And that involves tentacle sex. Yes, goat and sheep jokes aside, zoophilia has been around for thousands of years.
What we like to see in hentai monster porn today, with many-headed penis snakes and gaint tentacled octopi, has really been around since those kinky Japanese could first put pen to paper.
Although not everyone might actually want to be intimate with Fluffy or Bakkies, zoophilia fantasies are very common. Nancy Friday, collector of women’s fantasies, found that roughly 30% of women have fantasised about animals.
Some zoophiliacs purport to genuine feelings of love and attraction between them and their animal loves. While I struggle to find this possible with, say, a dolphin (true story), it turns out that monkeys and apes can display sexual attraction and jealousy towards their human counterparts.
The dark side
And if that isn’t all wacky enough, there’s always necrophilia (check this excerpt out by forensicpsychiatry.ca) and vorarephilia. Basically you’d be a necrophiliac if engaging sexually with dead people turned you on (Bella?) and you’d be a vorarephiliac if you were sexually aroused by the idea of being eaten or eating another person. Or watching this happen.
Funny thing is you’d think this couldn’t really occur in really real life, but there are entire forums dedicated to necrophiliacs discussing their feelings, how they first started and how they manage to keep their fetish going. And then there was that German, Armin Meiwes, who advertised for someone to fuck and then kill and eat on the site The Cannibal Cafe. He found a willing partner … they ate his penis together before the boy died. I believe Meiwes was convicted of manslaughter.
Saw forensic pics of the body at the scene. not cool. So there you have it plums, from the tame to the tummy-twisters.