Ask Dot :: I am a guy and i like wearing panties

Hi Dorothy!
I have a weird fetish which has gotten stronger over the years. Some years ago in my teens i started a strange fetish which is i love the feel of female panties and wearing them, i only wear them to bed, for a number of reasons. As a teen i used to steal them from friends houses if they had sisters or hot mommies, sometimes i used to steal the dirty ones from the laundry basket as the bedrooms were not always easy to get to for the clean ones, as i could never deal with the thought of getting caught.

I know it is wrong and sick but i could not control myself. Well i don’t need to tell you what i used to do with them, but i used to get really excited. As the years have gone by i managed to control myself but still, if the opportunity came up, i would steal a pair or two.

Now in my 30s  i still enjoy the feel and like wearing them, i now have built up the courage to buy my own but it is still nerve wracking when i buy them in store.

My question to you is it ok for men to have a panty fetish, and what do most woman think about it? And how can i stop this fetish that i love so much. And most important is i am not gay and like woman alot.
Loving Panties



why do you feel this is a kink you have to stop? and i’m concerned that you think it’s ‘wrong’ and ‘sick’. the only part wrong about that scenario is stealing. and maybe sick if you stole some super serious victoria’s secret imports, cos if they were mine i’d what to kill you…

that aside, hetero men wearing women’s underwear is a very common phenomenon and nothing to be ashamed about. and it’s not nearly as weird as you think it is. society’s narrow acceptance of ‘what boys wear’ and ‘what girls wear’ is incredibly limiting (and a dysfunctional IMHO) perception of sexuality. so it’s ok for girls to wear ‘boy-style’ cotton briefs or boxers, but guys can’t try out the super sensuous yummy lacies girls wear? who wouldn’t love the feel of them?

I think the problem would come in if you couldn’t orgasm or be sexually aroused without wearing women’s clothing. that would point to a very limited expression of your own sexuality, maybe one that you’ve not accepted or fully explored yet.

but for what you’re explaining i don’t think it’s a question of changing this, it is a question of accepting it and making sure that you don’t open yourself up to unnecessary judgment or harm by people who don’t understand, like being caught stealing them or maybe wearing them in situations that would be inappropriate if you were ‘found out’.

anyway if you’re buying panties, the store people are going to think you’re buying them for your girlfriend. besides i wouldn’t give a toss about what they think anyway.

as for future girlfriends, you’ll find one you can trust and confide in. and there are people out there who aren’t judgmental or full of shit.

check out this page on of questions answered by Hope Alexander on the issue of cross-dressing [clickety click]

(dudes, if you’re going to comment, please don’t be a trolling douchebag. i will smite you.)


  1. Looks like u need a serious dose of pussy and social interaction

    Justice fuck the law
    September 19, 2016 at 2:56 pm
  2. Oh so beautiful I love to wear ladies nylon full cut brief panties in my size of 12

    January 31, 2016 at 6:25 am
  3. the best feeling about dressing like a female is the anticipation.
    And giving yourself a girl name.

    September 25, 2015 at 10:37 pm
  4. I’ve had a thing for panties for as long as I can remember. Up until I was 16 I would swipe panties from my friends’ sisters and though it satisfied my fetish I felt so guilty for stealing. Once I turned 16 and could drive myself around I started buying my own panties. At first it was really nerve racking. I thought I would get judged but the people at Victoria’s Secret (my favorite place for panties), were very friendly and made me comfortable buying there. Now when I go I always make the joke “no they’re for me” when they ask if I’m buying them for a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong I love that I can buy my own panties but in the past year and a half I must have spent over $1,000 dollars at Victoria’s Secret. Kinda wish I didn’t have such expensive taste

    March 11, 2015 at 11:37 pm
  5. I wear panties all the time. I was scared. The funny thing is that nobody can see anyway! I wear a bra sometimes too!

    February 1, 2015 at 4:46 am
  6. I find that there is no better feeling in the world then to put on some nice lace knickers just seems to me feel so much better never stop doing what you love that’s who you are

    December 5, 2014 at 5:30 pm
  7. Ive been a panty wearer for years & memories of the experiences & near-caught events ive had in them makes me smile.
    I still remember like yesterday being accidently noticed wearing a pink laced panty once by a couple of girls in public. The look on their face & the whispering that followed just turned me on. The excitement & kick it gave me made my heart pumping & my palms sweating. One of them even followed me for a while & later striked a conversation with me. We became frirnds & today im proud to say we r married & she adores me for my fetish & i find myself blessed for having such a winderful wife.

    August 7, 2014 at 1:34 pm
  8. I wear thongs and g-strings now almost exclusively . Love the feel and I am 100% straight. Pity it is not more generally “acceptable” bit I love it. I also man scape, which my wife loves me to do, neat clean and tidy.

    July 7, 2014 at 3:46 am
  9. My husband wear my panties at home and sometimes going out. At first I thought it was strange now I’m ok with it . When I go away I leave a pair unwashed for him and he loves it.

    July 6, 2014 at 9:47 am
  10. I love wearing panties too. The ones I’m wearing are lilac and lace and have an attractive bow. And I just like them. I don’t know why. They’re just fun.

    July 3, 2014 at 8:23 pm
  11. I loved reading through everyones comments!! Loving the idea of panty shopping together!!

    I have a confession…………I love wearing my undies and giving them to men with fetishes!

    I love that the internet has allowed people to speak out about themselves!! Xx

    June 24, 2014 at 12:58 am
  12. well my name is John, I am very addicted to panties I love smelling girls panties that don’t mean I touch them I just love smelling it but how can I get out of of women panties I just cannot stop wearing them and I am not gay at all

    June 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm
  13. I just got into wearing women’s underwear myself and I absolutely love it! I have a very thin figure and I was always slightly self-conscious about not having a lot of manly muscles…and then I tried on some lingerie for the first time, looked at myself in the mirror, and realized that my body is actually DAMN SEXY. Seriously, they make my ass look great, which shocked me because its not a possibility that had ever occurred to me before. Now, whenever I wear it, I feel so much more confident because, even if nobody else can see them under my clothes, I know ;-)

    Do what makes you feel damn sexy.

    May 3, 2014 at 5:12 pm
  14. I love wearing panties! I have been doing so for many years and now wear them almost exclusively very day to work as well. I particularly enjoy g-strings and things. Just love it. It is such a pity that more are not made available for men. Love the feeling of the fabric and the thong in my ass crack. It is a great pity that it is not made socially acceptable in other words, openly modeled and advertised etc. I mean what wrong with men wearing thongs, or sexy lace ones?

    I love it!

    March 8, 2014 at 7:17 am
  15. I wear panties everyday for years. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Buy your own and don’t be embarrassed. You will find that in a lot of stores they will help you with size and style and not bat an eye. Men wearing and buying there own panties happened more then anyone can fathom. Men from all walks of life and social status wear panties. Be your own person buy your own live your life.

    heavy hauler
    January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am
  16. WOW!
    I Did not expect the amount and positive comments of my post.
    Did not realise that there are alot of guys with panties fetish out there.
    Glad to hear im not the only one.
    I have managed to increase my collection since the original post thanks to the comments ive read.
    How ever to be honest its not as exciting as wearing another womans panties but still enjoying my Panties.

    December 3, 2013 at 12:07 am
  17. u r totally not wrong dude…. i love the smell of used panties aswell n i just wish the could be any girl to donate some pairs for me to have since i cant get them.

    September 27, 2013 at 4:38 pm
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    lace panties galleries
    June 2, 2013 at 3:43 am
  19. I’m a 41 year old married man with the same type of fetish, although not specifically women’s panties. Since I was in my early teens, I can remember loving the feeling of the nylon underwear that was built into men’s swimshorts. I also remember shoplifting men’s bikini underwear and speedo type swimsuits during my teens because I was too embarrassed to buy them. (yes, I know that was wrong). Eventually I got up the courage to buy them and was proud to wear bikini underwear. At that time, they sold a variety of men’s underwear in slinky fabrics and patterns in department stores. Since the internet was born, buying such underwear is as easy as a button click. Fast forward to now after many, many pairs of sexy underwear and speedos, I am finding the desire to wear women’s panties. At first, the thought was ridiculous to me, but then I thought for the price of one pair of men’s underwear, I could buy a couple of 3-packs of women’s underwear. It’s virtually the same fabric and cut with the exception of the room up front. I’ve since purchased a few pairs of women’s Hanes and Vanity Fair panties for the purpose of wearing them myself. My wife knows about my silky fabric fetish, but knows nothing about the panties that i have purchased. After wearing some for a short time, I was disgusted with myself and tossed them into the trash. Now I’ve found online retailers from China that make men’s panties if there is such a thing. The fabric is a nylon/lycra blend in many colors with the added benefit of extra room for my man parts. My wife has seen these and although doesn’t really care for them, she knows that we all have our things and mine happens to be panty-like underwear. I must admit though when I see a pair of women’s panties in a certain color or fabric, I am very jealous that they are not made for men. I would love to wear them nevertheless. I mean, how can women’s panties not be sexy to a man? I know I love seeing women in sexy lingerie and panties, and having that fabric against my own skin is a turn-on! Of course, I’d love to peel it off a woman even more. I guess the way I see it is, you’re not hurting anyone and there are way worse things you could be doing. Life is all about simple pleasures and if wearing panties makes you happy, then do it!

    March 2, 2013 at 4:17 pm
  20. Wow, i see a common pattern here. I too, from atleast the age of 5 have also been into panties. I still do not know why it started and even now in my 30’s i still have urges to wear them when im not. I dont feel it is sexual, i do sometimes get erect dependant on material but its temporary. Maybe it is from the feeling of doing something bad or wrong?

    I got caught at 13, gave it up till 23. I lived in an appartment complex, and i too am guilty of laundry raiding.

    I have purchased online to save embarrasment, although, when far from the town i live in, i have gone to a walmart in the wee hours of the morning and bought some using self checkout! The kinds of people who shop at walmart at 7am are to busy to notice.

    I too sometimes feel ashamed or dirty for doing what i do, and am always worried of being found out. I wear them on a regular basis at home, work or out and about. They are more comfortable than any mens underwear i have ever owned and the matterial quality is light years better.

    LP, I dont think anyone should stop wearing them. I think the anxiety of thinking about wearing them is heavier than being worried about getting caught wearing them. Im sure you have your favorites, if you feel the urge to give up, save a couple favorites and put them away. The likely hood is your going to have the urge again. If you get a gf in the mean time, you could always say that they were from past gf’s. She might get mad and make you toss them(personal experience), but then you can work on introducing the idea as a joke and maybe work towards a full coming out. It took 3 years to fully come out to my now wife, but in the end, it was worth it and she is very understanding regarding it.

    Having gone through this as a kid, if my son shows signs of the same tendancies, my hope is that i can guide him instead of making him feel like a sinner for being the person who he is.

    February 14, 2013 at 10:43 pm
  21. Yeah, the internet needs a lot more positive comments! I’ve told some people I trust that I wear panties and they were very accepting to hear it! It goes to show there are people who are cool with it, you just got to know which ones are.

    February 9, 2013 at 8:19 am
  22. I don’t see it as cross dressing or whether it means I’m straight or not. I just love how panties feel. As Dot pointed out, women can wear men’s boxers and there is not a peep. It should be the same for us guys.

    February 5, 2013 at 5:56 pm
  23. I currently wear panties 24/7 and choose to wear more masculine colours. I started similarly to the original poster but never stole from any one. I would try on my mothers which led to me buying some when I was 16. I used to buy really sexy stuff because I could say it was for a girlfriend that I didn’t have. I threw out my modest collection when I started dating. But after breaking up with one girl, I went and bought 20 pairs. I threw them out because my mind told me it was wrong and I didn’t want to be that guy. In the lastyear iI’ve decided to accept myself and I told my mom if she does my laundry not to judge me. This really was a critical moment because it was the first time I’d told someone.

    I put lots of thought into whether or not I was straight and about cross dressing completely. I purchased a dress and some pantyhose but that just didn’t feel right. I’m happy I did because it helped me figure out where I stood.

    February 4, 2013 at 12:35 am
  24. There’s always more room for positivity on the internet and I’ll help add to it! I got to visit Victoria’s Secret with my friend instead of going alone and even got to show her a peek of the panties I was wearing (Was wearing gym shorts so they were easy to pull down for a quick look)! She thought they looked cute! I’m even more hopeful of finding a loving partner who will accept me!

    January 23, 2013 at 7:25 am
  25. i love how many people have responded positively to this post

    January 9, 2013 at 10:50 am
  26. I developed my love for panties being a fan of manga and anime. The cute girls wearing them just turns me on so much so I eventually decided why not get the real thing if I like the sight of them? It took some nerve to finally take the plunge and now I wish I did it years before! I love how they hug against my crotch and they lower my stress level, too! They feel so much better than men’s underwear and never fail to turn me on! Plus, they are fun to masturbate and fantasize with! I have a female friend who thinks it’s cool that I enjoy wearing panties so I’m hopeful that I’ll find a girl who’ll be accepting of me!

    January 8, 2013 at 11:16 pm
  27. I love panties!!!! I wear them everyday and every night and have a nice and varied collection. I think about panties all the time and get such a rush when I buy new ones. I feel it in my heart just like love. I LOVE PANTIES. I love as saying “I love panties. Panties are forever. I love you panites

    December 30, 2012 at 9:55 pm
  28. I love reading all the comments here, having been into womens panties for many years now. You would be suprised how many guys have thought about it & never tried. I live in Bali & often go to the beach, while there I prefer to wear a pair of nylon stretch panties, mainly white or another light colour. Sometimes I have had people comment on how nice & comfortable they look, even one or two asked if I had a spare pair in my bag to try on. I love the feeling of being dressed that way on the beach, like being semi exposed, especially when coming out of the water

    September 3, 2012 at 6:28 am
  29. Hi LP I am a guy who loves wearing womens lingerie of all types. I have done this for as long as i can remember. Like you i started wearing my sisters, then stealing some. I to was always scared of what people would say or how would i ever find an understanding girlfriend. I have to say that when some people found out they were horrible and some ex girlfriends would not accept me. I have been through many periods of loving and hating this part of me. I cant remember how many times i have thrown my underwear collection in the bin and vowed never to do it again. But i decided one day after many years of termoil that it was an important part of my life and something i wanted to do it was part of who i am. I took the decision not to hide it from my friends and family any longer and told them. My family were not bothered and most of my friends were ok with it. Some of my so called friends were pretty nasty about it and after thinking for awhile those “friends” and i went our seperate ways as your true friends will accept you for what you are all the others you do not need in your life. Obviously i do not advocate that you go to work on Monday and tell your boss about this fetish you have, there are some circumstances and people that it is not wise to tell lol.

    Anyway, now many years on, all my friends know and accept me and they have all seen me in various female outfits and they dont even notice anymore.

    As for finding an understanding women, they are out there. I am married and my wife knows all my fetishes and accepts that these things are part of what makes me me and are important to me. It is not here cup of tea but she has no problem with me dressing up and she even buys me womens underwear for christmas etc.

    It is very important that you be true to your self and you will find friends and partners that will accept you and your kink. You may lose a friend a two but nobody need narrow minded, jugemental people in there life.

    Hope this helps.


    Jeff Mitchell
    August 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm
  30. Hi Dot!

    I have a confession to make i was house sitting for a freind about 4 weeks ago and i must addmit i almost stole a pair of her panties but i managed to control myself, how ever i did try a pair or 2 of her panties on, i could really not help myself.

    I bought some nice panties today, dame! why do they make them feel so nice:) lol. and so dame expensive compared to mens underware…

    How ever i must be honest i dont get much of a thrill wearing my own panties as i would out of wearing another womans panties, but still enjoy it alot.


    August 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm
  31. The only problem is that a panty fetish usually does turn to stealing. With this comes an arrest along with public and private humiliation. Family and friends look at you differently and you can see the hurt and shame in their eyes. Relationships are ruined with hopes of being able to mend. You just want your life back. People look and feel differently about you as if you are not even the same person they knew. I feel for the man I love. Our lives will never be as we had known it, I miss my best friend It was a deep secret that he had kept safely inside – he was afraid, deeply afraid that he would not be accepted by the woman he loved. I am that woman and I always knew…..I wish he would have confided in me as all of this would never have happened. So please if this is something that you are doing – stop!!! Think of yourself and the people you love and the relationships you have. It affects all involved.

    April 17, 2012 at 4:08 am
  32. well i think the thing is that you’re not going to be ‘coming out’ to the world. there are safe spaces to get comfortable in while you get comfortable with your own kink. everything at your own pace

    April 11, 2012 at 7:53 pm
  33. hmmmm tim curry

    April 11, 2012 at 7:51 pm
  34. what a great response, thanks dru x

    April 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm
  35. LOL! panty shopping together! love it. but yeah, it’s really not the most out there kink around

    April 11, 2012 at 7:48 pm
  36. Your fetish is not really that ‘out there’ my hubby wears my sexy panties and I even gave him a couple pairs for his own when he showed a particular fancy for them. It doesn’t really rock my socks off but it doesn’t turn me off and besides whats better than the person you love having fun and feeling sexy. Its so much fun to unleash him on the three for two pantie deals at stores while I go look for bras.

    April 11, 2012 at 1:25 pm
  37. Anon, I too am glad that no one has made fun of you. I can relate to being so afraid of what society will make of you because of your kinks to the extent that you want to end them altogether. Like I said, trying to stop it will cause heartache to you and there is no worse feeling than not feeling true to yourself. So what if society thinks that you are a freak and so what if most guys think that you are a fag? Are you a freak? Are you a fag? No. So why care? Why bother with labels? Only you can decide how you wish to label yourself if you must.

    It is hard to explain the joy one gets from fetishes and you are right, it is like one big addiction: the softness of the fabric against your skin, the beautiful sight of you in them, the occasional daring thrill of being caught….. Eeeer I’m not exactly helping you ‘quit’ now am I?

    It will take a while to finally and fully accept your fetish and when you do, it will be a wonderful experience and there will be no turning back. You will still be worried about others’ reaction if they found out but your allegiance to your fetish will supersede their opinions.

    You will find a woman who will enjoy this with you, trust me. There are many understanding women out there like the ones who have replied this thread. I dated a guy who had a ‘far more embarrassing’ clothing fetish than yours and that experience was truly eye-opening for me, taught me that fetishes aren’t as harmless as we think if we are just open-minded.

    Good luck!

    April 11, 2012 at 12:22 am
  38. Hey anon….if it makes you feel any better…one of my first serious on-screen crushes? Tim Curry in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That man was so hot and so…manly….even in a pair of suspenders and some frilly knickers – in fact, especially in them. I think it’s hot. Bring it on! There will be a girl out there who not only supports you, but wants to jump your bones because of it. :)

    April 10, 2012 at 10:47 am
  39. I really appreciate every ones honesty and not making me feel bad and making fun of me.
    I don’t why i want to stop this i just feel that society will make me feel like i’m a freak and most guys will think that i’m a fag if were to come out.
    I really can’t explain the joy and fun i get from this, it’s like one big Addiction!

    Any ways i hope i’ll find a woman that will understand and enjoy this with me.


    April 9, 2012 at 11:09 am
  40. aaah….finally boys and girls are being true to themselves!

    We all want the same things at the end of the day and being open and honest and REAL about it instead of making ourselves out to be freaks sure means more satisfaction and trust all around.

    My gorgeous man and I allow each other the freedom to wear and be whatever we please, even if it means that my favourite lacy ruffle panties are now stretched to man-size. Honey, I think we need a new pair, please!

    So keep it kinky, keep up the good word and enjoy the freedom you have in truth!

    x RetroPussyGirl x

    April 8, 2012 at 2:19 pm
  41. Apart from the stealing part, I don’t see anything wrong with your fetish. There is also nothing wrong or sick about it! As Dot asked, why do you want to stop your it? I can tell you from personal experience that once your fetish button has gone off, trying to switch it off is a futile experience that will only end up in heartache, dissatisfaction and not being true to yourself. You have one life and are entitled to enjoy as much pleasure as you can and if you get it from female panties, then so be it! When and if you fully accept your fetish, shopping for underwear will stop being a nerve wrecking experience and rather become a thrilling one.

    The sad reality unfortunately is that many women are going to think you are weird but not all of us will. It will take some patience and sadly some rejection but don’t give up. You will find a woman who will whole heartedly accept and embrace your fetish and what an intimate experience it will be.

    April 8, 2012 at 9:02 am
  42. I have never given it much thought, but i rate i wouldnt be much bothered. Could be quite fun to go lingerie shopping together methinks.
    I cannot imagine the anxiety for this poor oke at having to, at some point, divulge his kink to his missus, and posibly face harsh judgement. Cant be fun.
    Society needs to get the fuck over itsself. As long as said gentleman does not try and squeeze into my goodies, and gets his own, things will be hunky dory.
    I mean, like Dotty said, chicks wears guy stuff all the time. And if i can like a bloke with long hair, then why not silky knickers?

    April 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm
  43. I’m almost a splitting mirror of this chap, as a kid or actually youngster, I did the same as the auther’s question to you. I got one (a) hullava kick from stealing chicks underwear, especially with a fairly good chanced of getting nailed (and trust me, not nailed the way I would have liked *grin*) and (b) it made me feel good whereby I can’t mention it on the web due to moral fibre.

    However before I bleep on about a whole lotta nothing, I’m glad that I’m not really a twisted little fekker as my mind made me out to be. Nowadays I’m way better, unless I get inhebriated alcaholically or chemically… but thank fek it is not as mad and insane as it used to be…

    Finger Licker
    April 5, 2012 at 10:40 am
  44. I’ve always wondered why they didn’t make mens lingerie. I mean, I’m sure wimminfolk would enjoy unwrapping presents wrapped in nice wrapping paper (if you’ll pardon the metaphor). maybe not as feminine as victoria’s secret, but maybe a tad more stylish than a pair of CK y-fronts/tighty whiteys. hell…throw some tassels in on that shit. you never know when the opportunity for some windmilling might occur. men’s undies need not dwell in the medieval ages of undergarmentdom.

    that said, I still have a mortal dread of lingerie stores, and the women undergarment section in department stores. *sad face*

    April 5, 2012 at 9:33 am

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