SexpoSA back to toy with the Mother City

sexpo bannerwhen word came round that sexpoSA was back to amuse conservative cape town i didn’t hold much hope. i’ve not always been a massive fan. BUT. this time was different. the venue is smaller, the stall holders a little more varied and i went with a girlfriend who enjoys this sort of fun as much as i.

so i figured it out! some tips (for girls, really)

1. go with another girlfriend (SGF are too busy rolling their eyes at het sex and boyfriends and guy friends get awkward around lingerie)
2. TRY SHIT ON. The Hustler stall, Angie’s Attic and Killer Heels will let you try stuff on. Do it. It’s a fucking laugh. Buy stuff.
3. GO TO THE PULSE TENT. All that whooping and screaming and laughing as coming from that tent.
4. DO SHIT. get painted, watch the videos, get spanked, poke stuff and ask your sex toy questions at the Lola Montez stand.
5. Insist that you see the product out the box at places like Baci. it’s got nice stuff, but what you get is VERY LITTLE and you cannot return.

i really had fun (and this is not a sponsored post by the way). click the following pics to enlarge.

kinxA Kinx stall at a sexpo was the first time i got spanked. met graham, the dom father, and started my fascination with this delightful lifestyle. there were quite a few of the city’s masters wandering about and tying people up. if only that little girl knew what a really real kinky fuck was tying her ropes.

pharoahspharoahs is an adult ‘fantasy’ club in jozi. a sex club really. spoke to craig the owner (i think) who was concerned about me taking pics while assuring me that they are happy snobs vetting their clientele. which is cool, but i had to wonder if race was on the list. take a stroll through the stall to get an idea of what goes on – there are pics of people in the rooms at the venue. craig says they have a huge cape town contingent. business trips i’m sure.

pulse dancersi am always intrigued by the difference in vibe between the stripper tent for guys and the one for gals. e-ve-ry time i walk into a sexpo dude tent, there’s one lazy, bored honey hanging off a pole for an audience of quiet, staring men. go to the women’s tent and there is a proper SHOW and it’s packed and the crowd is going WILD. and do a lap dance. see that dude in the pic – i got a dance from him at another sexpo a while back. he smelled lovely and actually turned me on.

lelo and lola montez

if you’re look for answers about sex toys go to the Lola Montez stall. I always like their displays and the people working there are cool and know what they’re talking about. unlike the lelo assistant who tried to convince me that the lelo tiani was to be used for solo play or as a cock ring for him during sex. whaaat? i kept saying are you sure SURE, and kept say yeeeeees. oh well. also. siri? is this where you go to play out the rest of your career? also, coffee?

angelas attic

do visit angie at angie’s attic. i like her so and she stocks great fantasy gear, keeps it friendly and personal and also stocks the fifty shades trademarked gear, if you’re into that drivel sort of stuff. if you’re in cape town, i would recommend her store in sea point for a visit but she also ships. (I wrote about her in my M&G article >> clickety click)

killer heels sex shoes

nearly broke my legs at the Killer Heels stall, but it was super fun trying on the shoes. they’ve got quite a range of quality goodies. They also do sexy clothes and wigs and i LOVED that stocked normal-size body stockings. i hate those ‘one-size-fits-all’ non-returnable boxed goods that should actually read ‘one size fits all in china’.

mens undiesdude at this stall couldn’t really tell me what a Bamboo Power Sock is, but he did helpfully enlighten me that straight guys usually go for the full boxer-type undies, while the gay lads usually pick out the bong thongs.

airvolutionairvolution is at every sexpo and at every sexpo i literally could not give less of a fuck. actually i could. i hated pricasso and thank god him and that old, stinky gigantic gold penis weren’t at the show. it’s not that i couldn’t give a fuck about body airbrushing because i don’t think it’s cool, it’s just always crowded and there are toys to look at. but this guy’s non-negotiable ‘rules’ list caught my attention and i am now a fan. i like him. also he does cool work actually.

bad sex toys

never a dull moment at the cheap sex store stalls. i don’t mean greenback cheap (there is that also, but that mouthy poppie there is R3k), i mean yeeek-eeek-nasty cheap. please note the cock and pussy modelled on the body parts of famous porn starts. lick and stick Tod Parker’s cock to a wall and off you go. please, if you’re going to buy cheap-and-nasty goods, use latex condoms or some other cling film. those materials are generally shitty.

bad porn

no sexpo is complete without the range of yawn-porn. i would like to see a more varied range that includes women-friendly and queer porn. but, baby steps. at least this sexpo didn’t look like one huge adultworld warehouse.

body cast vagina castspossibly my fave stand area at the sexpo, the pussy room (where you can watch artsy sex shorts) and the bodycast stall with jen hucks. she does amazeballs work and will even make a cast of your pussy RIGHT THERE!! she’s the one that looks like nurse betty. she is super lovely and cute and it was all i could do not to hop on her table and make her immortalise my vulva. haven’t shaved? no worries, she’ll do you right there. love love love.

so those were some of my highlights. it is the first time i have said – go. go and have fun. because it is. the cape town one is varied, small and lovely.

Here are some links:

Please note none of this post is sponsored. It is my genuine, really really unadulterated good vibes about these peeps.