Chapter 4 :: Trauma and sexual healing
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
It was strange for her to have images of young girls and particularly their plain cotton panties coming to mind when she was making love or masturbating. The most disturbing thing was how absolutely, fabulously hot she felt at those moments, how intense and, well, thorough her orgasms had become since these troubling images came along.
What followed these overwhelming moments was a feeling of deep shame, although that was, if the truth be told, nothing new. Because she was a powerful, rebellious and brave young woman, she ignored her feeling of shame. She was not going to start yielding to her parents’ conservative Christian guilt-trip any time soon. That would be shameful indeed.
Because her lover was adventurous, she mentioned it to him one lazy, cosy winter afternoon.
“I would love to see you in innocent white schoolgirl panties … with the little skirt … yummy.” He nuzzled her neck and stroked a hand up her leg. “Have you been a good little girl?”
The Tantric Time Warp
The eroticism we have as adults draws us to face, revisit and accept our past traumas – that which we found impossible to accept when it happened. We do not have to have had abusive parents, Uncle Pervies or religious schooling in our childhood for us to have experienced psychological trauma. Even a childhood without spanking and other obvious abuse has moments and events that cannot be faced and accepted with the nascent psychological resources of a young child.
If you work consciously with your eroticism, it is likely that your memories will reveal several incidents in your childhood that have this abusive quality. This can be unpleasant, confronting and frightening but it is also liberating. It is far, far better to face past abuse consciously than to have it interfere with your life and your body from the subconscious.
The Revirginised Sacrifice
He was smoking a cigarette and enjoying the view of the reflection of a fat moon dancing in the breakers. “Excuse me, Sir?” a polite little girl’s voice asked. “Is this the class on under-age seduction techniques?”
“My God!” Anticipation, long anticipation, had not prepared him. It was nearly an hour since he had put the sake in a vacuum flask to prevent loss of heat and spirit. He nearly said, “So very worth the wait”, but stopped himself, realising that he did not want to deliver even the lightest rebuke, even disguised as a compliment.
“Um, er, yes, young lady,” he managed while he looked her over. “Quite right. Just stand there, just where you are for a bit, if you please.”
“Is there a problem, Sir?”
Amazing, this transformation – the straw boater, hair pinned up making her neck exquisitely vulnerable. She was wearing glasses and no makeup, just clean glowing skin. A white Wonderbra presented a cleavage that had no business at all being behind a simple short-sleeved schoolgirl’s blouse. Her skirt was far too short for whatever the school regulations were. Gorgeous legs, perfectly smooth, flowed into little white socks and shiny patent leather black shoes with rounded toes.
She tapped twice with one foot, conveying impatience and waited for his eyes to reach hers. She looked at him seriously from behind her glasses. “Is there a problem, Sir?”
“No, just a moment. Please turn around.” She complied, and, feeling his gaze acutely, leaned forward slightly, put her hands on her hips, angled her pelvis back and up, and wiggled slowly. She leaned further forward, bowing at the waist, dropped her head lower, and looked back through her open legs at him, upside down in her view.
Read Rahasya’s full account about trauma and sexual healing in Rocky Horror Tantra free download, from page 73 to 84… [clickety click]