‘feel it, it is here’ was the big ‘it’ phrase for south africa’s 2010 football world cup venture. or, to be more precise: ke nako, a sotho phrase meaning ‘it’s time’ – as in ‘it’s time for africa’ or ‘it’s africa’s time’. as sang shakira shakira, my spirit animal…
waka waka eh eh. this time for africa etcetera etcetera. anyway. i digress. i avoid the topic. i am in denial. in fact, look here…
that’s the box my books came in. i got the box yesterday. i still haven’t taken them out yet. i reckon i might be able to do this later tonight. maybe tomorrow morning. or next week even?
it’s so typical really. i go into denial about anything that might be too good. it’s a kind of emotional protection mechanism i perfected as a kid – if i don’t get too excited about something there’s no possible hook for disappointment to latch itself on to. i reckon some part of me thinks that if i can pretend this isn’t a big deal for me, then i won’t be sad if no one else thinks it a big deal at all.
so much therapy.still so much personal emo-ness.
ag it’s not so bad. i’m chill. super chill. so chill i might as well be an white walker. i’ll take my sweet baby books out later and caress their smooth covers and bury my nose in their soft white pages and
cry ’til i fall asleep run around naked shouting FUCK YOU ALL I WON pat myself on the back for a job well done. cos i am proud of myself and this lovely little book i wrote.
however, getting back to blogging for reals IS taking longer than i expected. i’m busy on a new short story and planning the CT launch and enjoying a lot free time – also called ‘doing a lot of avoiding’ on anything called the dot spot. at least for a bit.
however, an actual plus is having my sex brain back again. no one warns you how writing about sex and relationship 24/7 will affect your fornication fun. have i mentioned this before? i feel like i have. but basically i had a 10-minute window period where my brain wouldn’t be taking the situation and trying to place it in the book. note-taking during nookie is a beeeeeeet of a buzzkill at the best of times.
chat soonest my dears. oh one more ps to those who signed up for the extracts: thank you so much for your kind and lovely feedback. it was all sweet honey to a new author’s ears.
trying not to be scared,