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Finally, porn that won’t make you hate yourself

Porn created for women, by women, means never having to sell your self-worth down the river for an orgasm, says Dorothy Black Do you remember the first time you came across porn? Whether it was something you saw or read or even heard? My first taste of it came in the form of I’ll take Manhattan, […]

Sometimes the problem is just you

Listen up drama queens. Does love have to be a production of pain and heartache? Dorothy Black doesn’t think so. Sometimes the problem is really just you. You know that scenario where you’re bitching about your love life (again) and your friends (who love you madly) start doing that thing with their faces that makes […]

Is there a gay gene? Should we care?

Why are we so desperate to find an on/off switch? Dorothy Black asks all the right questions. I met Martin in York, England, many years ago. So long ago you could still smoke in cafes. Martin was gay and dying from cancer, and our conversation naturally orbited these topics. At one point I asked him […]

Are you the crazy ex?

Dorothy Black has been the mayor of Crazy-Ex Town and offers her advice on staying away. The phone rings again. It’s the third time in the space of 5 minutes and we both know who it is. ‘Sooo. Not going to answer that, huh?’ I ask, doing a little head jerk to the direction of […]

Dorothy Black learns to strip and finds out what sexy is

You’ve heard of bringing your sexy back but you’re not sure you ever had it? Or if you lost it, you’re not sure where to find it? Dorothy found hers with a burlesque troupe… The spotlights were up, the ‘Bump n Grind’ beat had started, and my 6-inch dancing heels were ready to shimmy my […]

Should you ever lie about your looks on dating sites?

In the online dating world, do you have to be honest about how you look and what you’re about? Do you have to be nice to people who mislead you? Dorothy Black weighs in… The last online date I went on was with a forty-something guy I was considered a 98% match with. According to […]

Do you dare? Mild to wild ideas for you and lover person to explore…

Every now and then a reader sends in an email or request that tinkles my earspace. Last year, a clever man sent me a mail telling me all about the naughty dares him and his lady friend were giving each other, and asking for more ideas if i had any up my sleeve. well, here […]

5 Choices for a better love life

You know you never follow through on New Year’s resolutions that cut out the fun, but what about those that will make your love life a little better? Dorothy Black gives her top tips for a year of good loving… Make time for your primary relationship Yes, the kids are important. Yes, you need to […]

Is preferring a sexual partner of a different race political?

Is swirling and sexual attraction across colour and culture lines a political issue? ‘So why did you never hit on me?’ I asked Rob, a skinny white boy from the ‘burbs and one of my favourite Jozi peeps. It seemed an appropriate question after a few drinks and years of a slow-burn flirt. We’d hit […]

Do you know where your vagina is?

Don’t know the difference between your vagina and your vulva? You’re not alone, says Dorothy Black At first glance it sounds like a ridiculous headline to read: ‘UK women don’t know where their vaginas are.’ Women’s cancer research group The Eve Appeal ran a survey that included asking women if they knew all the parts […]