i should be sleeping. last week ended on a note that sounds like trouble for a monday morning. but i have some thoughts.
a few months ago AB and i were sitting at house of machines, sucking up G&Ts (probably the best in the mother city btw) and discussing the state of our wordy lives (awesome) and sex lives (not so awesome).
AB is about ten years younger than me (i think. i’ve come to understand that i’m the opposite of an agist, whatever that is, so in my brain her age is irrelevant. however…), confirming the oft times dismal state of cape town’s dating pool, regardless of age. so possibly it’s a type thing. both AB and i can be considered a little left of centre.
AB: You know what the problem is?
Me: What? Apart from the unfortunate state of that man’s tats?
AB: (looking over at a pop-eye with a sailor problem) Yeah apart from that.
AB: Of the top five people I could fuck right now? like, they’d be available…
Me: Yeah…like call up and have sex with right now?
AB: three of them are married or have steady girlfriends
Me: urgh. rough… wait.
one of the funniest things a man ever said to me, to assure me that he had only the best intentions if we met for coffee, was that he was married.
i rolled my eyes so fucking hard at that. honey. are you fucking KIDDING ME? that is EVERY GODDAMN REASON TO RED FLAG YOU.
still. they’ve become useful as flirty NSA emo trampolines.
do you remember the VUP? the very unavailable person? well he was married (can’t remember if i actually ever explained that). we conducted, i suppose, what would be considered a brief, but intense, emo affair. we shared a fairly hot kiss, but nothing more. quit it when i realised it had reached crazy proportions in my brain. but it certainly helped to redirect all the thought energy i was spending on mr hardman post break-up.
and now, since the unfortunate reality check that my revived conversation with the beard has delivered, i have any number of emo trampolines and … you guessed it … they are all married/girlfriended.
for my actual physical trampoline bounce? there is the lovely lover in an open relationship. or at least was. he was supposed to be my small inland sea remember? well, sadly his gf changed her mind about their arrangement and now i’m not very likely to see him again. (side note for people in open relationships: don’t sleep over if you haven’t specifically arranged that with your primary partner…)
Crushing on someone else is helping me to work my way through the sweet fog of nostalgia
nevertheless. is crushing on an unavailable trampoline man helping me bounce my way through the sweet fog of nostalgia to the nirvana of Over It Land? sure is. kinda. maybe. i’ll let you know in a month or so.
am i protected from getting overly involved and therefore safe from hurt cos i know nothing really real can happen while they’re involved with someone else? sure. kinda. maybe. i’ll let you know in a month or so.
anyway. point is. none of this attention from married/hooked-up men generally needs to be found. in my experience, it comes to the single woman easily, without fuss or effort. so easily that Lady Lou, who gets a lot of married man action, has lost faith in humanity and love. basically.
and, keep your panties on, there are enough married (not so much, i think, ‘just’ girl-friended) women who are play-play-playing outside of captivity, as the saying goes. they don’t hit on me (WHY THE HELL NOT HUH?), but they are telling me their stories. and lord, if husbands only woke up enough to know what their wives were up to a lot of the time…
makes me wonder why there are so many unhappily married, not-being-honest-with-their-partner folk around. i mean, i know why in the sense that i know what reasons they give me*. but i wonder how much better it would be if people would be more willing to explore some real honesty about themselves, their partners and their relationship model.
* le sigh. i’ll write more about this later. now i need to sleep for about 15 hours.
- The other woman
- Postsecret pic of the week :: Marrying for all the wrong reasons
- Love is a choice, an act of will