A NSFW hello to Monday :: Erotica in gif

this post actually made me squirm a bit. it’s like real live porn porn. not like pretty picture porn. or something. he he he. i dunno. gifs are mesmerising to me, even the funny ones that look glitchy and comical. i can just stare and stare. some of these may be familiar to you.

alone with you

fun together

just a soft touch

katri1

kissing against a wall

my favourite

on a bed

take you

talk to me

thinking of you

waiting and watching

what have we here

although i got them from all over, i found puresexgifs.tumblr quite cool [clickety click].

Postsecret pic of the week :: ‘My sister abused me’

ok. so i really vacillated about saying anything about the whole lena dunham debacle and then THIS postsecret came up.

5-jimmy

now. i don’t know if you read about the piece in her book where she talks about an incident when she was 7 with her sister, who was 1.

“Grace was sitting up, babbling and smiling, and I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina,” it reads. “She didn’t resist and when I saw what was inside I shrieked. My mother came running. ‘Mama, Mama! Grace has something in there!’ My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things I did. She just got on her knees and looked for herself. It quickly became apparent that Grace had stuffed six or seven pebbles in there. My mother removed them patiently while Grace cackled, thrilled that her prank had been a success.”

consent is not something only boys need to learn.

for this, and a piece where she uses very unfortunate predatory-type grooming language to explain how she would bribe her sister with sweets to try kissing, lena was called a child molester.

jirre.

now, honestly. i don’t actually know what dunham’s editors were thinking when they let slide that passage and the phrase ‘spread open her vagina’. i feel like someone misread the fucking vibe, ja know. in fact, her editors should’ve picked up on a lot more in that passage that read weird. (see salon writer mary elizabeth williams’ great piece about that here.)

children are just little humans. they’re not some strange angelic species with no nerve endings and flat brains.

but i want to add my two cents finally, which is this. when i heard that dunham had looked at her sister’s vagina, i was like, and? kids explore each other all the time. that’s pretty much normal.

then i heard the age differences, and i was a little more eyebrow-raisy. not because i wanted to brand her a child molester, but because there was clearly some shitty parenting happening there. (sorry for the opinion parents of lena whom i do not know)

didn’t a conversation need to happen at this point about bodies and boundaries – and mutual curiosity and interest?

after all. if this kind of convo had happened, i imagine that little insert would probably not have appeared in the book … or at at least it would’ve been written quite differently?

how would temperament have been charged if this was a boy with a baby girl? #justasking

look, i haven’t read the book and frankly, i know i can’t comment on dunham any further than to point out that her story has raised some poignant questions about how we talk to kids about sex (not to mention gender bias and language use. how would temperament have been charged if this was a boy with a baby girl? #justasking)

conversations about our bodies and other people’s bodies aren’t just conversations naughty adult humans should have. and children aren’t strange angelic species with no nerve endings and flat brains.

they’re just little humans and, as is a human being’s wont, they’re curious, exploratory and body conscious. so wouldn’t it be grand if the adults meant to guide them into this crazy world didn’t demonise their budding sexuality or ignore it.

the parents and sex therapists i respect follow the ‘question-driven, age-appropriate answer’ strategy

what if we instead had conversations about what they were experiencing and maybe provided some much-needed input, such as: other people’s bodies are not your property and when you’re both curious to touch then you can touch.

consent is not something only boys need to learn.

the parents and sex therapists i respect follow the ‘question-driven, age-appropriate answer’ strategy to sex education; they pick up on learning moments and engage with them instead of shying away from them.

the postsecret-sender-inner was molested by her sister as a child. there is no goodness in that experience. but i can’t help wondering whether her sister was a child herself. a child who needed help because of exploration and boundary issues or because she had her own molestation story, possibly handed down from someone older.

seven

should this child be branded a sick peeping tom? (answer: no.)

children are little humans. they are not adults with agency. so let’s not saddle them with adult demons before they’ve had a chance to be educated about what they’re doing.

i think that goes for adults forgiving their younger selves for all the little crazy positions their kiddie brains got them into.

no one is getting my movie references lately. #thecell

no one is getting my movie references lately. this is from the cell and that little boy becomes a shitty serial killer. this is his coma-fucked serial killer mind.

there have been a few postcards about this, and it’s becoming a bit of theme i’m seeing in the posts. follow the links through from I drowned a kitten for more.