Postsecret pic of the week :: Ballet and beating people up

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this was no surprise at all. i didn’t watch black swan but i know that ballerinas are, in my experience and in general, engaged in an internal war of wills – subjugating the will of the body to the force of their mental will. in fact, there are few applauded endeavours that inflict as much contained and systematic violence on self than professional ballet.

no wonder there is an unconscious will to externalise that in a messy, animalistic bar brawl.

poor thing.

Ask Dot :: I am 40+ and my son’s 20 year old friend is hitting on me

for some reason this reminded me of 'ceremony'. not sure why.

for some reason this reminded me of the movie ‘ceremony’. not sure why.

I am in my 40s and have been contacted by a former school friend of my son. He’s just gone 20 is incredibly attractive, rugby build, blond haired, blue-eyed. He has opened a dialogue I never dreamed I’d be having with anyone his age, and I am now incredibly tempted to do a Mrs Robinson with him! I know since it’s consenting adults I have no reason to feel guilty at all, and since we have both agreed that anything that happens be our “dirty little secret” I will most likely sleep with him. I would just like your thoughts on matters such as this…
Mrs Robinson

Watch/listen to the answer here [clickety click]


Dear Ms R
Some thoughts:

  • He’s legal, he’s an adult (well, technically he has a year to go, but … nuance), this is consensual, ergo: no problemo
  • You say ‘former school friend’ … i say it would a LOT less sticky if you meant this 100% literally. because a current friend could make shit awkward at some point if this ever came out. should you give a fuck about this? i’d like to think not. YOLO etc. still…
  • ‘His age’, ‘your age’ … the thing with age gaps is pretty much the thing with bank accounts, sparkling personalities and the use of one’s limbs – if these things matter to you, they matter. my question is: do you deny yourself pleasures, people, experience, love and/or great sex because of this? that’s your call. personally i tend to throw caution to the wind and listen to what body and soul is telling me. sometimes it gets messy/sad, but i’m never sorry because it’s also usually exhilarating/profound/evolving.
  • DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN TERMS – you choose the place, no taking pictures or video and NO SEXTING. i add these cautionary CAPS because at 20 his brain is not fully developed and i wouldn’t trust his idea of ‘secret’. but that’s just me and i can be all ‘suspicious minds’
  • If you REALLY want to be clear about how you feel about this, how would you feel if your ex husband slept with your daughter’s girl friend?


So there you have it, Mrs R. Happy romping.

This question was first answered on Ballz Radio

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